Sneak Peek!
Hello TSI Fans!
Usually, this is the space for me to answer a ‘Dear Maggie’ question, but today I’m going to share a sneak peek of Blood Ties, the fifth book in the Tactical Solutions International romantic suspense series. Each book can be read as a stand alone, but I think it’s more fun to read them in order! If you haven’t had a chance to check out the hot hunky guys and smart sexy gals of the TSI world, you can find them here: TSI Books 1-4.
If you’ve read the previous stories already, you know that A.J. Mathison is one of the partners at TSI. We meet him all the way back in Sing for Me, when Jake Evans, co-star of Sing, is on leave to attend A.J.’s wedding. Throughout the series we get glimpses of A.J. and his wife Allie, where we also learn that Allie struggles with recurring cancer, so the opening chapter of Blood Ties should come as no surprise. Despite the usual thread of danger and intrigue, this book, above all, is about loss, healing, and second chances.
I hope you enjoy this sneak peek from Blood Ties, book five in the TSI series! Maybe get out your tissues…
Chapter 1
A fine mist of drizzle hit his face when he stepped from the vehicle onto the pavement. Two warm bodies tumbled out after him and plastered themselves to his side.
“This way, Sir,” the driver said, handing him an open umbrella.
Adam James Mathison inhaled a deep breath, took his children’s hands, and lead them toward the cemetery plot where he was about to bury his wife.
Cam Taylor, A.J’s best friend and business partner, appeared at his side, lifting five-year-old Ellie into his arms. Ellie buried her head in Cam’s shoulder, exhausted and overwhelmed. Hell, A.J. was exhausted and overwhelmed. He wanted nothing more than to lie down in that wooden box with his wife and make it all go away. But he couldn’t.
When he glanced at his daughter cradled in Cam’s arms, then at his son whose small hand fiercely gripped his own, his chest tightened. His children would grow up without their mom. For a man who’d spent his entire adult life trying to right wrongs, it killed him that he couldn’t right this one.
A.J. heard car doors slamming and hushed voices speaking behind him, but he didn’t look back at the crowd following him to the burial plot. It was all he could do to put one foot in front of the other.
The church had been full to overflowing with mourners, and he’d managed to deliver the eulogy without completely losing his composure. It was the second time he’d read it out loud. The first time was to his wife, before she’d died. Allie had asked him to, and so he’d sat at her bedside and choked out the words. That time, he had lost it, but she’d deserved to hear every word. She deserved to hear one last time how much he loved her, how her smile brightened a room, how her strength and grace in the face of such suffering awed him, how he couldn’t imagine a world without her in it.
He’d buried his head next hers on the bed and sobbed. She’d stroked his back and told him that she had no regrets because she’d married the love of her life and made two beautiful children, children who’d carry a piece of her into the future.
When her cancer returned, once, twice, and then for the third and final time, she hadn’t been bitter. Not when she puked all day. Not when her hair fell out again. Not when they had to move a hospital bed into the living room because she’d grown too weak to make the stairs. Not when the doctors told her she was out of options. She had never once raged at the unfairness of it all.
A.J. had, though. Oh, he had. Not in front of her of course, but on more than one occasion, he’d driven his truck out to a deserted spot on the shoreline and screamed his rage and despair into the chill, blowing wind. She was thirty-five fucking years old, and she was going to die.
When she did pass, it was with her children tucked beside her and A.J. stroking her forehead. She’d died with a peaceful smile on her face and a single tear running down her cheek. By that time, death was a relief for her, but the moment she left the earth, a hole opened up in A.J.’s heart that he feared nothing and no one would ever fill.
His dress shoes sank in the damp grass. Early spring weather in New England was predictably unpredictable, and although the morning had dawned sunny and warm, persistent drizzle had soon followed, which better reflected his state of mind.
When he reached the gravesite and saw the wooden box poised to be lowered, he stopped short, his knees nearly buckling. A small sound, something a wounded animal might make found its way out. Cam heard it, shifted Ellie to his other side, and placed a hand on A.J.’s shoulder.
“I’m here, brother,” he said softly. “I’m right here with you.”
A.J. squeezed his eyes shut and blew out a long breath. When he felt like he could move again, Cam’s solid, silent presence remained by his side. He lifted his head and surveyed the crowd assembled around him. Their grief, like his own, was palpable, and yet their presence held him up. His coworkers, some who’d been teammates from his time in the Navy, were as much his family as his own blood. He knew they were hurting, because every single person who’d ever met his wife had loved her. They’d been showing up every day since the moment Allie had been diagnosed, not just for her, but for him and the kids too, and he knew they’d continue to for as long as he needed.
The graveside ceremony was brief. The priest said a few words, none of which A.J. actually heard, and then it was finished. By the end of the day, his wife would be in the ground. That unfathomable thought cycled through his brain on repeat.
As he stared unblinking at the gleaming mahogany coffin draped in colorful flowers, Cam gripped his shoulder again.
“Do you want a few minutes alone with her?” he asked softly.
A.J. nodded.
Cam squatted down so he was eye to eye with A.J.’s son Adam. “How about you, me, and Ellie ride together. I need to stop at my house and take Toby for a walk.”
Both children perked up at the suggestion. The opportunity to play with Cam and Lissa’s new golden retriever puppy always put a smile on their faces. They’d been begging for a dog of their own for months now, but A.J. didn’t have the energy to take care of a dog while Allie was so sick. Now, he’d have to manufacture some. His wife might be gone, but his kids were still here.
“Liss and Fiona are going to head to your house and meet the caterers. Take as long as you need,” Cam said.
As the group dispersed, A.J. lingered by the casket, waiting until he could be alone with his wife one last time. The priest, the same man who’d married them years ago, pulled A.J. into a silent embrace and then left him to say his final goodbye.
A.J. stuffed his hands into his pockets. When he spoke, his voice sounded like he’d swallowed glass. “I’ll do my best with the kids, Allie, I promise. I won’t ever let them forget you.” He paused and swiped at a tear. “I miss you so fucking much already. I don’t know how to leave you.”
That was the truth. He didn’t know how to leave her, and yet as the minutes stretched into nearly an hour, he felt the urge to be with his children, to take comfort in his friends, to join the living. He might have been conflicted about those feelings, but Allie had urged him not to wallow in his grief, practically begged him to fully live the life she’d be missing, and because he’d promised his dead wife he would try, he plucked a yellow rose from the top of her casket and walked away.
